forever and always
by totem
Summary: Spoken words, by Phoebe to her two fallen sisters. SHORT


Life has changed with you gone, changed a lot, I wish to be with you once more, but now, four years since you left, I feel, there is something that I will never get, to have my big sisters hold my tight. To have their smiles, to have my gleaming eyes reflected in there's.  
  
I need to tell you everything that has happened, and have decided to do that with this, it's nothing more than a piece of paper, but I know, my sisters, you will read this, and then will treasure my words.  
  
One thing I have wanted to tell you, is how much I love you, I never got the chance that fateful day you left, never to return. And until now I haven't been able to bring myself to doing this, but I believe this is something that you deserve, my love, the undying love that resides in my heart.  
  
I want you to know that you have not been replaced, you never could be, and I tell you now, your absence hurts like a knife to my heart, when I think of what we should have had together it hurts. What was stole from me, it hurts. There is a place now, still in my heart that resides for you, until we meet again, it won't ever be complete.  
  
Surly you remember the words that we once spoke, the promise. I do every word. You both promised you would always watch me and I you. Now as I think of those words they really comfort me, keep me going, they help more than you'll ever know. You are watching me, aren't you? You're still with me, even now, like you promised, aren't you?  
  
I have a sense of betrayal, and if I dig deep enough also a sense of hate, hate for this world, my world, the world filled with magic that has betrayed me. I close my eyes and tears burn as your image appears. Why did you leave?  
  
I'm the oldest now, could never replace what has been lost. Paige, god I hold her so tight, when we are together, because she is all I have left. My sisters, you are both a stolen life from my world. When you, Prue my mother died, I hated, but I lived because I had to, to be strong. But Piper when you were stole, I pushed hard to carry on, my god, I lost both of my sisters in such tragic circumstances.  
  
You died, selflessly, you died for others, I know now that if I lost Paige I could never continue. I don't love you any less; if possible, the absence has only made my heart need you more.  
  
Piper, your two beautiful baby boys, so big now, so much I see you in them, I love them undyingly, they ask for you. Too young to understand your absence, they accept my response to there questions.  
  
Where's mommy? Wyatt was the first to ask, my heart burned, tears filled my stinging eyes, he, six, would never understand, I remember what I said, Mommy's with aunty Prue, with grams and great grams, she's safe, she's watching you. He didn't understand I saw the confusion, he was lost, he needed to understand, how can I make a six year old understand that his mom is dead, never to return, never to hold him, love him, or scold him. Maybe I should have explained, told him everything but couldn't, he asked if he could go and see you. I shook my head, not now, someday. When? He asked,  
  
I couldn't answer, how can I answer questions of a six year old who doesn't understand why his mother is no longer around, when I, myself don't fully understand, why my mother died, why my sisters were stole.  
  
He remembers your birthday Piper, he sings to the empty room, I hared him tell his little brother about you, he doesn't remember much but the little things he dose remember he shears with his little brother. Just like you did with me Prue, Piper do you remember?  
  
Both of you were my idols, I love you more than you'll know, your my big sisters always and forever, don't forget our promise, please, keep watching out for me, as I will watch out for the rest of our family.  
  
Paige I will love as always, I love all three of you, neither can be replace all three of you I hold close. Now Piper I look after your babies, I'll tell them about you, I'll teach them about good, I'll be there protectors. I promise you, I'll watch out for them.  
  
Until I meet you again, this is all of the emotions that I can deal with for the moment so, before my heart totally caves in and I am unable to say this, my sisters I love you, forever and Always. I LOVE YOU!  
  
xxx Phoebe xxx 


End file.
